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Questions, sadness, anger, isolation…these can inflict children who have experienced loss of any kind. Loss of parent from divorce or death, a pet’s death, losing a favorite toy. Loving and helping a child overcome grief and loss can be very tricky, especially if you are also grieving.

Depending on the age of the child and their ability to understand, explain what ‘grieving’ means. They are frightened by their emotions, by your emotions and by others’ emotions. They need to understand that what they are feeling is OK. They need to be able to express their feelings appropriately and they need adults to listen to them. 

One of the best ways to help a child overcome grief and loss is to allow them to talk about the person who died. Let them ask questions about him. They want to know why he died and where he is now. What he was like as a little boy. Be patient as they sort through their questions and ask more; it’s part of the healing process for them.

Words don’t come as easily to children as to adults, so it may take more creative forms in order to draw them out. A couple suggestions I came across to help a child express his feelings include drawing and dramatic play. They may not be able to talk about their loved one, but they can draw a picture of him. They can pretend to be Grandpa, or Daddy and in so doing, you have an opportunity to help your child overcome grief and loss in his life. You can ask about what they drew and suggest that they may feel sad or angry. 

Helping your child overcome grief and loss takes time, patience and a lot of communicating. Let them talk, listen to them, draw out their feelings and encourage creative means to express their emotions.




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